She loves having babies. No, really. She loves being pregnant. She loves laboring and birthing her children into this world. So much that she’s done it three times. Each time she chose to experience things naturally, without drugs, and with little to no intervention or assistance.
As I listen to her speak I realize that she sees pregnancy as an honor and privilege. I’ve known a lot of pregnant women and I’m somewhat familiar with women experiencing those emotions. But I also hear in her voice that her pregnancy experiences have empowered her. Hmmmm. I have to admit I haven’t heard that a lot. And I want to know more.
She certainly didn’t grow up with that sort of attitude towards birth. Her mother, whose first child died at birth, looked at pregnancy as a medical condition and fearfully handed her future pregnancies over to the doctors she considered gods to handle as they saw fit. Mandy herself was born by Cesarean section in a high intervention hospital situation.
So when did she make the jump to what many would call hippie-hood?
Though she was born in South Africa, she met her husband while travelling in Europe in her 20s. He was stationed at Lakenheath in the UK and they got married just before he was due to PCS to Alaska.
The first gift she received from her in-laws was a tattered and worn copy of Spiritual Midwifery, a classic book of birth stories and information written by one of the premier American midwives, Ina May Gaskin. It became her Bible. She read it cover to cover and before long had to add to the masking tape and string that was holding it together.
She says that she always had an innate belief that the experience of birth should just work, but had never met anyone who lived that way. As she read and talked with her new family, she became more convinced that how we come into the world and how we leave it are the two single most important journeys in life. But modern society often doesn’t honor personal choice, intuition or dignity for those experiences. She was convinced that babies could come into the world with dignity and respect and love and without much of the modern technological innovations of the previous century.
When she found she was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband took a Bradley class. The class prepared them for the worst – that the hospital environment was going to be a negative environment to birth in. But that was not her experience. A midwifery program had just started at the Army hospital in Fairbanks – they had a whirlpool tub and a great attitude towards birth. Mandy happened to be assigned a 40 year old male nurse and when she told him of her wishes for a natural birth he said, well, that’s how we used to always do it.
She had a wonderful experience there and was able to bring her daughter into the world as she’d hoped.
But she soon realized that her experience was unusual. That not all women were able to achieve the births they hoped for. She realized that one of the biggest things missing in modern women’s lives is the tribal wisdom our ancestors had. Wisdom passed down generation after generation by people who love and care about you. We no longer live with an extended family of aunts, grandmothers and other wise women. In those days, birth was just a normal part of everyday life and you would grow up watching births and hearing stories about births from a young age. This no longer happens. And in the military, our family support system is often even less than the usual modern woman because we are living thousands of miles from what family we do have.
Mandy believes that the power to choose the birth experience you desire is a right we should all have. But it’s also one of the most difficult things to do. Especially in the military. We live in a society based on the premise that following orders saves lives. That following orders makes things work the way they should. But birth is the most “wild, chaotic thing you can ever do. There is no way to follow a set of orders – each birth is wonderfully different and should be handled that way.”
In her second pregnancy, Mandy knew she’d be more comfortable in her own bed and so chose a midwife to assist her in birthing her child at home. However, the midwife didn’t actually make it in time, and she (with her husband’s assistance) birthed her son by themselves. In her third preganancy, there was no option for a midwife, and so she chose an unassisted birth. This second son was also born safely at home.
Now, to many, this is just crazy talk. Having babies with no epidural? Having babies at home? Having them alone? With no doctor in case of emergency?
She doesn’t believe that everyone should do it the way she did. But she is on a mission to help women know as much about birth as possible so that they can take responsibility for what they choose. She hopes that instead of allowing the modern medical machine to make decisions for them, that women would become informed and make decisions for themselves. Carla Hartley says "birth is safe and intervention is risky." Mandy would like to help more women understand that fact.
After her successful natural births, she inadvertently ended up doing birth counseling with people over coffee. They’d chat and talk and she’d share her experiences and her knowledge. It got to the point where these “coffees” were happening 3 nights a week. So she thought maybe it was time to do something about it and did training to become a childbirth educator (CBE).
But she continued to like the one-on-one chatting style of teaching. And when couples began to ask her to attend their births for extra support, becoming a certified labor doula (literally a “woman servant”) was just a natural extension. She seeks to help women know how their bodies are made to work. That there is a reason your body moves and reacts as it does and that if you interfere with that, you will know somewhere in yourself that you are denying the way it is supposed to be. She seeks to create a clear road to birth for women… to help remove boulders and obstacles in the path for other women.
I’ll be honest. I’m hoping you’ve made it this far without thinking Mandy is just kooky. I too grew up in an environment where pregnancy was seen as a medical condition. But I was lucky in my early 30s to see the light. I, too, have delivered two beautiful boys naturally and would highly encourage any of you interested to seek out more information and help from the following resources available here on island:
1. Lester Hospital is just beginning a trial program called Centering Pregnancy. It is prenatal care which involves meeting with a group of women with due dates around the same time. The women maintain their prenatal records and are more involved in the process of their pregnancies. Meetings continue through 6 weeks post-partum. The program was initially started in inner-cities with pregnant teens who had no support. The military is choosing to try the program since many women here also birth will little support.
2. Foster Library has a good section on pregnancy and birth. Mandy would highly suggest Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin and Active Birth by Janet Balaskas. She’d also recommend the website blueribbonbabies.org which contains Thomas Brewer’s nutritional guidelines for pregnancy.
3. There is a local La Leche League that meets once a month on Thursdays at both Courtney and Foster. Please contact Tessa at 968-3777 for more info.
4. Several women recently started a google group called Natural Parenting Okinawa to support each other and provide information to those seeking a natural path to parenting. You can join here.
5. Additionally there are two certified doulas that I know of on island: Mandy (clearroadbirthservices@gmail.com) and Nancy (nposala@yahoo.com). I’m sure they’d love to hear from you if you want to chat.
As you know, you can’t throw a rock around here without hitting a pregnant woman or three. So if any of you have any additional information or resources – please fill us in…
Updated information for local birth support personnel as for Sept 09:
Nancy, doula Crystal, doula Diane, doula
La Leche League- breastfeeding support POC available on website
Sarah, New Mommy's Helper
Thanks for the post Joelle! My brothers and I were born at home with a lay midwife in the 70s in rural New York state, after my mother had a bad experience birthing my older sister (tied down, told to ‘shut up’, knocked out, cut, and shot up with antilactating hormones). I’d like to recommend another book. Pushed: The Painful Truth about Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block. I have a copy here at my house, waiting to be passed on. Any takers?
Grateful for the info about local doulas, too – we are ttc and wondering about birthing options at Lester.
I just recently saw the Documentary, ‘the business of being born’ and it brought to mind my own birth experiences. First with a US hospital and pitocin–> epidural–>vacuum and episiotimy. 2nd birth with a hospital, but a midwife in London. (a much better experience) I was scheduled for a water birth but had to be induced after 10 days overdue, although I did end up with a walking epidural, the whole process was calmer and I felt in control…
)
Great photo by the way, Mandy, priceless
Thank you for this post Joelle. I have the privalge of knowing Mandy and she is an amazing woman! I have and continue to learn so much from her!
I didn’t know there were other doula’s on the island I have been working through my certifications through DONA and CAPPA but that came to a halt when moving here.
I just corrected the link for joining the Natural Parenting Google group — sorry it was wrong initially!!
I really enjoyed the article. Nancy also has a web site if anyone is interested. I loved her she was so sweet and understanding. gentlejourneybirths.webs.com
It’s nice to learn about Mandy and her natural birth experiences. I had my two natural (one here, one in the states) and both experiences were awesome. I totally agree with Mandy’s feelings about childbirth being a natural and wonderful thing, although I didn’t love being pregnant. So much vomiting! Nice post.
What a great post Joelle! I had two of my three munchkins, “the natural way”. If we do decide on baby #4, I am going to insist on another natural birth! What a inspiring story! Thank you!
Great to hear that there are other doulas in Okinawa.
I started my Birth Doula coursework through CBI a couple months ago, and although I still have a while to go before certification, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone!
Does anyone know if “Operation Special Delivery” http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/ is involved in the medical centers in Okinawa?
Mothering Magazine (www.mothering.com) is a great resource for folks interested in everything from home birthing to breastfeeding to homeschooling to attachment parenting and more. Even though I don’t always agree with their editorial stance/opinions, I learn something new in every issue of their mag. They also offer books and archived articles about tons of subjects – just a whole WEALTH of info!
I also had Nancy attend my birth. She had tons of doula “tricks” in her bag. I was so focused on what she was doing and saying that half the time I didn’t even realize how close I was to delivery!! amazing birth. Thank god for Doulas. I couldn’t do it without her. Thanks Again!!
jackie – i would love to get my hands on your copy of ‘pushed’. i am a doula (currently on maternity leave
certified through childbirth international and am building my lending library. i know about that book, but haven’t read it yet. my email is cynthiagcrosby@yahoo.com. also a note that our natural parenting group has a meet/play date the 2nd monday of each month from 9-12 at the kadena uso. would love to see more of you.
What a lovely story! I too had both my kids, naturally, at home with a CNM. After such a great experience with my first and becoming a SAHM, I decided to work with other women having babies by teaching childbirth classes. I’m glad to hear there are doulas on island, they really do open doors! I will be starting a Bradley Method class either this month or next. If you would like any info on please email me at angela_lindsey@msn.com. Also I wanted to share that there is a new doula book coming out that can be pre-ordered through Amazon. Titled ‘The Doula Guide to Birth’ it is by the former Assistant Director of ALACE, Ananda Lowe and Rachel Zimmerman. It looks like it should be good!! Again, thank you Mandy for sharing, it’s good to know there are like-minded people out there!
What a great story on one of my favorite people! I was lucky enough to have Mandy as my doula for the birth of my 3rd child. She is not only a super-knowledgeable wealth of information on pregnancy and childbirth, but is a sweet, understanding, and caring woman who would do anything for anybody.
So happy to see such a well-written article on how wonderful she is
I was blessed to have Mandy as a doula for the birth of my first child. Mandy is a WONDERFUL doula, and a wonderful person. I learned so much from her about childbirth and babies. I still continue to email her and ask her questions about taking care of babies. She’s not only a wonderful doula, but a great friend as well. I ended up not being able to have the kind of birth I wanted, and Mandy was so supportive through the whole thing. She’s one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.
Thank God I found this. We had just moved here and found out we were exspecting. I was so worried since this was my first. I contacted Nancy. She wasn’t what I exspected…lol. She was so much more. She became part of our family. Super sweet and helpful. I was so comfortable when I went into labor knowing she was going to be by my side. My birth was incredible it really was a privalge and an honor to have her there with me. I hope she is still here when we have another one. Your the BEST Nancy!! Couldn’t have done it without you! (If your not here when we have another one, do you think you could fly back? j/k):) That would be great though!!
I have just added updated childbirth support personnel info to the bottom of this post. These women are currently working on island!
Thanks for updating, Joelle.
I still get emails from ladies looking for a doula and I gleefully send them off to Nancy, Brianne and Arleta. I am glad to see Diane join the ranks too…The women of Oki are in great hands as they birth their babies into their own!
Birth Blessings from the Heartland,
Mandy H.
Hello all! I am one of the people Mandy helped counsel towards natural birth about 6 years ago when we were both living in Hawaii. We grew into great friends but of course the nature of military life means I haven’t had contact with her for several years. If Mandy is still a part of this blog/group I’d like her to know that I think it’s really great that she was able to follow her dream, and would love to hear from you. My email is rockerbabysmom@yahoo.com
Hello all! My husband and I are not yet on island, but will be the end of March. I am not pregnant, but we may be seeking fertility clinics after getting onto the island! I have been reading all over this site, including birth stories and blogs. If someone can direct me or tell me some information about using midwives, as far as how soon you can see one and what they will do for you throughout your pregnancy and also some pricing information would be great! We just like to have all of our ducks in a row and hope to be as knowledgeable about getting pregnant, being pregnant, and birthing naturally in Okinawa as possible! Feel free to reply on here or send me a message if you have information that will help me out! A BIG Thank you to all of you as you ALL truly help on EVERY aspect aside from just making the big move from the states to such an amazing island!
Are any of these doulas or midwives still in Okinawa?
Hello So Silly, yes there are, are you looking for a doula?
Yes, I’m thinking about it and would like more information. You can email me at s_orgela@yahoo.com. Thanks!
I am amazed that I was brought to this post but feel it might have been out of destiny. I just picked up childbirth books calls Your Best birth and the one on Ina May. I have been unable to put them down as I feel they are what I have been looking for. I would love to have or at least research the natural childbirth options and learn as much about them as possible. I want to know how it works in the military if they allow you a homebirth or a Natural birth or any of these options. Please if someone knows about this contact me I am very serious and only in my second trimester so I have plenty of time. Please Please email me at stephens2010kelsey@gmail.com
THANKS THANKS
Kelsey, several of my friends had home births on Okinawa. There is a lot of the fine print with Tricare that you need to go through, so you need to get started even though you are only in your 2nd trimester. I would also click on the ad on the bottom right sidebar for Oceanside hypnobirthing — Amanda may have good answers for you!