CONTRIBUTED BY MEREDITH
Dear You who solves all of my problems with tender words and soft shoulders,
This is Rick Maltsby P.I. Our very own Privates Investigator. He’s also a jungle gym, a thief and my first dog ever. I have loved him long time. And now that we know for absolute-ness that we are leaving Okinawa, I have to draft an early exit strategy for everyone’s favorite Malt Ball. Since the heat restriction starts in June I’d like to put him on a plane STAT. On the other side of the world, my mother and her Gerry have kindly agreed to take him until we return in July.
(JULY! Gulp. So soon to leave everything that is our life in Okinawa, so soon to get back to family and our new lives with a new house that isn’t destroyed yet. Who in their right minds would rent to a family with two young boys and a dog?!)
I went to the vet last week and asked what all I needed to do to get him ready and what all I could do to get someone else to take him home. I barely remember what she said. Eli was jumping on the animal scale, licking a door knob and announcing his need to go POO-POO NOW, MOMMA! Also, I just forget a lot of stuff.
The kind, kind woman (THANKS, KIND WOMAN!) was not distracted by the jumping, licking, ANNOUNCING Eli and patiently assured me that it was easy to get him home. All I had to do was get a health certificate in some time frame before the dog flies. I’m thinking she said ten days. Not sure. JUMPING, LICKING, ANNOUNCING! She suggested advertising in Japan Update. She suggested I start advertising pronto.
Tonight I got onto Japan Update and started to pen my advertisement but I have no idea what to say because I have new questions.
1. Do I need to give Power of Attorney to the dog trafficker?
2. Pardon my ignorance for a split second. Ahem. Where do the planes that leave this island go when someone has orders to Quantico? Do they land on Quantico? Dulles? National?
3. How much should I offer to pay someone to travel with Maltsby?
4. What category on Japan Update would I submit this ad to? I need a HELP NEEDED section. Or a HELP ME! section or something desperate like that.
So here’s my classified ad thus far…
My dog needs to fly to the Quantico area. You are flying to the Quantico area. I will pay you cash to travel with him. This is a picture of my mother. She will meet you at the airport in D.C. and relieve you of the shrieking, maladjusted dog in your charge. Raise your hand if you’re interested.
Help me.
Seriously,
Meredith